


Admit to Myself

by OnceRulesofSuperWalkingPotter



Series: 500 Fic Challenge [29]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: War of the Damned
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Caesar, Choking, Cornelia Puts up with bullshit, Drunkenness, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-08 23:39:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17990720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceRulesofSuperWalkingPotter/pseuds/OnceRulesofSuperWalkingPotter
Summary: Caesar's been drinking ever since he got back from the war against the rebel Spartacus. She wasn't sure exactly what changed her husband, but she has a sneaky suspicion it has something to do with the death of Marcus's son.





	Admit to Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Starting to pick up some real speed with this challenge thing. Bout time considering it's MARCH lmao I'm super behind. Thank you guys for the support and the patience! I appreciate it! The bunnies, summaries, kudos and comments are the absolute best! I love them! Thanks again I hope y'all enjoy!

The door bangs open causing her to sit up in bed. Cornelia's heart was pounding as she heard muffled voices down the hall. There was no sound of clashing swords which means, it wasn't an intruder. But lately that means it was something worse. Her eyes widen as her husband stumbles into the room. A flask of wine still in his hand. Sighing heavily she draws back the blankets and makes her way over. Julius was leaning against the wall taking a swig when she stands in front of him. His eyes were red, and sunken, cheeks hollow. Not a surprise since he hasn't been sleeping well. And the only thing he puts in his stomach is the damned wine. Making a face she puts her shoulder under his arm and starts leading him to the bed. A month ago she would have tried taking the flask away first. Her still bruised hip was a lesson well learned. 

"Come on, dear husband of mine." She whispers quietly. "Let's get you to bed." 

"Little bastard." He mumbles drunkenly. Cornelia rolls her eyes. Time for the daily rant it would seem. "Dies before he could get proper punishment. He deserved to die mind you." He continues on, even though she didn't ask him to. Julius lets her push him onto the bed as he empties his drink. Wisely she crouches next to the bed. Once it was empty he throws it against the wall with a frustrated grunt. 

"I'll have someone clean that up. I'll be back." She informs stepping towards the hall.

By the time she was back with a slave he was still only halfway through his tirade. One she has heard almost every night since his return. Honestly. If she didn't know any better she would say that her husband  _missed_ the young Crassus. Perhaps it was time to talk to Marcus about what happened. The time for mourning has been long enough. And if she was going to continue to be a good wife to her oaf of a husband then she needed the details. Especially when the two and Pompeii were scrambling for a rise in political status. Nothing she was going to complain about if it aided in their debt erasing. 

"....and did you know the little shit always had the damned nerve to fight me? Every twist and turn! As if I wasn't the magnificent military leader than I am! I couldn't  _breathe_ without him getting angry at me!" Cornelia nods as she crawls back into bed. She's gotten better at ignoring him. It wasn't going to be long before she was drifting back to sleep. "Even though he always had a smile ready for that shit Sabinus." Cornelia makes a face. Sabinus had been a nice boy. She was saddened by his passing. Especially when she heard about how he died. It must have been difficult for Tiberius to do. 

"Mm-hmm." She replies politely closing her eyes. 

"He dared taunt me, and you know he always bent over at the most inopportune times." Cornelia peaks an eye open at him. 

"Julius." He continued ranting, "Julius," She calls a little more firmly. 

"Hmm?" Julius pauses looking at her. She could tell he wasn't at all focused, so she sits up on her elbow deciding to ask him out right. 

"Did you sleep with Tiberius?" 

Cornelia should have known that was the wrong thing to say. At the very mention of his name, Julius growls loudly rolling over, his hand wrapping around her neck. She didn't hold any fear to this anymore. It wasn't going to last long. And it was the most physical contact she could get out of her husband these days. His face contorts into something born of fury and shame. It was sad really, she missed the kind words and soft touches, but at the moment his normally distractedly handsome features were borderline grotesque. A small amount of spit was forming in the corner of his mouth as he yells at her,

" _Do not DARE speak that fucking name to me! I curse the day that **fuckin**_ _ **g CUNT** was born!_" Cornelia gasps for air, not yet panicking. 

"Apologies." She chokes out. Like normal she was ignored. 

" _HE SHALL REGRET THE DAY HE DARED LAY A HAND ON ME_!" Julius's voice cracks. His face was red with rage. Cornelia's eyes go wide. That was something she hadn't hear before. "Bastard escaped his punishment. Death was too good for him. What I would have done in return. Teach him a lesson on who towers above him." Cornelia feels a flicker of fear as she was forcibly turned over. Her heart beat against her ribs so fast she was afraid it was going to burst. Yet, as bad as the pain she was expecting, it was nothing compared to the amount of shock she felt. What he was saying...what was implied...in the morning she was going to have to her husband sober and talk to him about this. For now she grits her teeth and suppress a whimper. 

"J-Julius," She pleads, trying to get him to remember where he is.

" _SILENCE BOY!_ I will have NO more of your blatant disrespect!" Boy? Now for starters that was a little insulting. It was also disconcerting, because that means Julius has lost touch with who he was with. This was just another war flash back episode for him, and he was reacting to it as best as he could. Cornelia bites her lip gripping the pillow tightly. "You fucking cunt! Piece of shit boy! Jealous! All you wanted was your father's approval but you couldn't handle the fact that he's always favored me!" Julius kept on, one hand on her middle back to keep her down. Not that it was necessary. Cornelia might not want this to happen, but she wasn't fool enough to fight her husband. That would just end in more bruises. But she couldn't help the scream that tore out of her throat when he forced his cock inside her. A place he swore up and down that he would never. The pain she felt was like nothing she had ever experienced. It felt as if her asshole was being ripped open. Every nerve inside of her screamed that this was wrong. That this needed to be stopped. 

"Gaius!" She snaps. Cornelia never uses that name for him. Instead of more yelling, or even a noise of acknowledgement. The only sound she got in return for her effort was a low moan. Uh-oh. 

"Oh  _fuck_. You're so tight. Was your previous lover so small? Or has it been that long since you had to kill him? Hmm?" Damn him. 

"You're vile." She hisses at him. He chuckles in return.

"Tell me boy," Cornelia screams again as he starts a harsh pace, "tell me how much better I am than he was. Hmm? How much larger? Admit to me that all the arguments were simply for my attention." He groans some more his forehead falling onto the middle of her back. "Gods curse me but you feel so damned good boy." She wasn't sure how to respond to that other than more screaming. It felt like  _days_ before his hips were starting to falter. Every other word out of his mouth was one name; " _Tiberius._ " Something that hurt the heart more than this rape could ever. And finally,  **finally** Julius freezes without warning. His raspy gasp the only audio indication of what was happening. Cornelia feels a tear run down her cheek as warm sticky liquid drains out of her. It wouldn't be a surprise if some of it was blood. With a hum her husband collapses on the bed next to her slinging a heavy arm over her slim waist. 

"Julius?" She whispers, he wasn't snoring which meant he was still awake. 

"I need more wine." He grumbles sleepily. Cornelia sighs shaking her head in disbelieve. Wobbly she crawls out of bed and stumbles out into the hall. It didn't take long to find a house slave and ask for a bath. And the medicus. If there was blood it needed to be taken care of. It was pure force of will that kept the tears at bay until she was safely in her tub. Alone, with her body slave waiting outside. Cornelia allows herself to cry heavily for a few moments before sobbing softly into her hands for about an hour. When her husband wakes, they were going to have a rather large, and highly unpleasant conversation.


End file.
